Day 8/30: The Moment I Felt Most Satisfied with My Life

I have to say the moment my son was born and I heard his first cry was the most satisfying moment in my life.  All the work I had done in the past nine months had paid off.  All of the pain, all of the throwing up, fatigue, heartburn and trying to stay healthy was for that moment.  And here was this beautiful human being that completely needed me.

Being bipolar and having an unexpected pregnancy, I quit all my medications cold turkey, hoping for the best.  I had my husband’s support which helped immensely.  From week six to week fourteen, I threw up everyday from morning sickness.  At week 28, I endured terrible kidney pain from a kidney stone until after my son was born.  (Let me say that kidney pain + contractions REALLY hurts!)  I was in labor for over 12 hours before the doctor decided he just couldn’t come out naturally and I had to have a C-section.  Even though I got an epidural, the pressure of a baby trying to come out a mostly CLOSED hole (4 cm dilated) really hurts too.

Two nights before my C-section, I’d had a gruesome dream about having a C-section and it was the VERY last thing I wanted to do.  So enduring the fear of the operation was completely satisfying in itself.  But the moment I heard that first cry, tears immediately streamed down my face.  I didn’t even have time to get choked up, I just cried.  I knew that I was crying from relief and pure joy.  Everything that had led up to this point washed away and all I could think about was my beautiful, HEALTHY, baby boy.

holding baby boy2

 

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