The phrase “my son” used to be very foreign to me. After almost a decade and a half of being bombarded with different drugs from steroids to pain killers to anti-depressants, I had convinced myself I wasn’t having any of my own. Granted, I never asked a doctor if it was possible. I really didn’t want to hear the answer I knew was coming. Number one: How could I stop these medications I needed so badly if I were to be pregnant? Number two: How could all these medications NOT somehow have affected my reproductive system? And number three: How could I be so sick and have a healthy baby? So when I took that test, after much convincing from my husband, and I saw TWO pink lines, I was stunned. I didn’t believe it at all. As badly as I wanted to believe I could be carrying our child, I felt it had to be a false positive (yes, they do happen, to all you nay-sayers out there, look it up or ask a professional). So when I took the second test and two pink lines showed up again, it was like God told me himself, “You’re having this baby.” In short, I had no doubt in my mind there was a fetus inside me.
My first reaction, after being shocked, was pure joy and excitement. Then I got scared. REALLY scared. How were we going to pay for this baby with me not working and my husband short on hours? How would I survive without my medications? How would my baby survive with them?
If I had ever planned to conceive, I wanted to be weaned off of my medications by a professional I trusted. They didn’t think I would make it cold turkey and neither did I. But I wanted to be weaned off BEFORE I tried to get pregnant and here I was just pregnant and probably for at least a month already. What damage had I already done with my toxic medications? That scared me enough that nothing could make me pop one more pill. Not unless a doctor said it was safe for the baby. (I found out that most of them were very unhealthy). So I quit them cold turkey and surprisingly, I did very well. It was a second miracle to me that I was now healthier than I had been in years. My little man was already starting to improve my life!
The only real problems I suffered during pregnancy were a kidney stone (around twenty-eight weeks) and poor weight gain. The kidney stone really knocked me down and soon after the pain started I could no longer take my Tylenol with Codeine because my liver enzymes were becoming affected. I managed through it though and the pain had become bearable after a couple of weeks. But my baby was thriving inside of me during every checkup and every ultrasound. He never raised any cause for concern.
Labor was fairly intense as I imagine all (or at least MOST) labors are. I thought I felt my water leaking around 6:30 am on the 24th of March and finally called the Labor & Delivery nurse around noon as it seemed to increase. I was admitted around 1:30 pm and started Pitocin about 2:00 pm because my water had fully broken now, but I was not feeling any contractions even though they were there. I finally started active labor around 8:00 pm and wanted an epidural by 10:30 pm. I got my epidural and sailed through more contractions but the pressure of baby wanting to come out was becoming more and more intense and the epidural didn’t have an effect on that discomfort. Unfortunately, by 7:30 am the next day, I was still only four and a half centimeters dilated. So, as much as I was dreading it, I needed an emergency C-section. My little blessing was finally born at 8:39 am on the 25th and was a healthy six pounds and fourteen ounces. We named him Sebastian and so we called him Sebby. We stayed in the hospital for the standard three days and went home happily on the 28th of March. I couldn’t have known I’d be back for more.
To Be Continued…